Flashback on domination

One entry I still find amusing is this one
where I am slowly coming out of my shell from a submissive to a dominant.

Looking back now, I see I’ve always had a dominant streak. I was raised to be a leader, not a follower. Even when I was 14 years old, my father and I owned and edited our own magazine which was quite successful. Being in charge and setting my own path was always something I did and loved it. But there were other situations growing up where I often felt other people did things “better” whether it was looking physically sexier, wearing better things, or having some sort of physical remnant associated with their success. Therefore, it would only seem natural for me to turn into a “follower” of such people. If I saw someone wearing something expensive, it would seem “my place” to just listen to them because deep down, I figured they knew more than me.

My philosophy has drastically changed. In that previous entry, I was struggling with submission and domination. At the time, I considered myself submissive simply because I liked having my arms pinned down. Go figure. It was only then that I realized that maybe submission didn’t feel so natural anymore and felt forced. Today, domination is my life. I live it and breathe it. The only time I ever feel submissive in any way is around a beautiful woman. Sometimes I want to dominate her and sometimes I want to submit to her. Can’t explain it.

The thing is, I still like my arms pinned down, but in a very different way. I like to be the one commanding the person to do it to me. I like the control I have when I give the other person the illusion of control. Sometimes I tell slave m to spank me really hard and while he’s doing it, I am humiliating him by saying, “Is that as hard as you can hit, you fucking pussy? You hit like a girl.” Anytime I ever feel any ounce of submission, it’s only when deep down I know I am in the dominant position although the other person only BELIEVES I am being submissive. Mentally, it’s a huge turn-on.

I’ve said for the longest time that years ago I started out as a submissive. Funny thing is, I was never actually submissive in my personal sex life. However, I was submissive when I did phone sex on the phone in certain fantasy situations. It turned me on to hear other men act like they were in control of me without actually having to do things like suck their cocks or whatever. Just the idea of sucking a cock makes me want to puke. I’ve never liked it and I’m not even turned on by penises.

But when I see a woman, I get so aroused, the power within me completely melts. I forget all about domination and submission. Some women, I can instantly dominate and feel completely in control. I’ve whipped, spanked and dominated dozens of women in real life. However, sometimes I can meet a woman (even though she is submissive) and feel completely helpless and powerless to her. It’s like she has some sort of spell on me. It’s as though I lose all my thoughts and plans and become a puddle to her. Slave deidre is a prime example. She’s extremely submissive and yet when I’m around her in real life, my legs turn to jelly and my dominant side struggles to come out. And yet, when I THINK about her, I am in full control. I feel like she is on her knees looking up at me and I am tugging at her hair or binding her up so she’s naked and vulnerable.

However, on the opposite side of the coin, sometimes I just give into the feelings of submitting to a woman. One Mistress I’ve submitted to is Miss Devon. I love spoiling her. I send her cash whenever she demands it. She humiliates me. She teases me relentlessly and in return I’d buy her gifts off her wishlist. I am in awe of her and she knows I always will be. She often tells me she wants me to submit to her in real life and I laugh it off. I mean, in fantasy it seems like a helluva lot of fun. But she knows I’m a dominatrix too and I think it tickles her that she holds the cards when it comes to controlling me. And she does.

And then there’s other times I want to neither be in control or submit and I get off just hearing a woman orgasming. I’ve done calls with Angela St. Lawrence (also a great friend and confidant), Angelena69 (wow that Latina voice, she is a great friend too who I’ve called off the system), Hypnotic Savannah (called for hypnosis one time, sweet girl, nice southern drawl. I’ve also done some flash animations for her), Mistress Lycia (called for hypnosis initially then changed my mind and just wanted to hear her get off and I definitely came hard. We’ve also done recordings together), Wet n Wild Maria (I’ve listened to her recordings and that girl cums hard – I’ve also done graphics for her)… just to name a few.

And for years when I worked at other companies, I did threesome and foursome calls with other girls (free for me cause the client would pay for the calls and I would participate). I got off hearing the other girls, whether they were being dominant or submissive or just hearing them orgasm.

I’ve come to the realization that around women, I have switch personalities. When I’m around men, it’s all about me dominating them cause I think they’re all pussies.

Love
Isabella
xoxooxx