Isabella’s dream

So there’s this thing.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a doctor. A neurosurgeon actually. During the course of my life, I walked along other paths which became more appealing to me. I successfully explored journalism, hospital janitorial work, graphic and web design, phone sex, and for the last five and a half years… domination and hypnotism. In high school, I worked as a cashier at a grocery store in the poor section of town while simultaneously working side jobs folding clothes at a laundry mat and cleaning apartments after residents moved out. It didn’t matter what job I had, I loved it. I’d invest my mind, heart, and soul into it and delve head-first into it and make it my passion. It’s easy to recognize the integrity of any type of work because essentially, all it is – is helping others. One of my favorite jobs was being a housekeeper/janitor for a rehabilitation center in Plymouth, Massachussetts where I was responsible for cleaning the residential wing of the geriatric section. The best part about it was getting to connect with the elderly patients and talk to them on a personal level, visit with them while cleaning their televisions and mopping their floors. The worst part, I suppose if there were such a thing, was cleaning up vomit and feces when they’d miss the toilet. The beauty of it is that I never gave a bad face or made people feel bad when they made “gross” in their bathrooms. I loved making them feel at ease. I loved reassuring the residents and loved even more telling them how important they were. I miss helping people on a “healing” level and for as long as I can remember, I’ve volunteered at hospitals. I’ve been around hospitals my whole life (my brother is handicapped and has required hospital care 24/7 for over 25 years), so I’ve never been squeemish around blood or bones. Science and anatomy are some of my favorite subjects, especially when combined with psychology and topics dealing with the mind. I feel more comfortable inside of a hospital building than I do in my own home sometimes. And because I’ve been around many life and death situations, I feel I could handle being under intense amounts of pressure in any given situation where I have to make sudden choices. And although these two things may not compare, I worked at a daily newspaper where we had deadlines practically every hour on the hour and the stress was insane. If I can handle the stress of corporate America and having ten bosses telling me that we need digital to film RC STAT, I think I might have the potential to handle the stress of running into an ER room at three in the morning to sew stitches in a child’s lip when a cat scratches it.

I do hope I have a point somewhere in this conversation. Where is it. Oh yeah.

So there’s this thing, like I said. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a doctor. I still want that. I don’t necessarily want to be a brain surgeon anymore but I’ve been seriously contemplating going to medical school to be a doctor of some sort. I’d like to be able to perform surgeries. Not just that, but I’d like to combine the hypnosis skills I’ve learned ALONG WITH medical practice to increase the effectiveness of healing others. It saddens me that some doctors frown upon hypnosis as a “new age thing” while some hypnotists frown upon doctors as being “all about medicine.” The truth is, sometimes medicine + hypnosis is far more effective than just one or the other when it comes to healing aches and pains. Hypnosis is a great tool for people who want to self-heal using the power of their own minds. Medicine is a great tool for people who rely on prescriptions to heal their bodies. But the two together are far more effective.

I thought my life plan would involve me being a psychologist or psychiatrist but the doors seem to be closing all around me. All the signs are pointing to no. The universe is clearly telling me that my direction is somewhere else. I didn’t mention this in my journal because I figured I’d just reapply, but Indiana University denied my application (and please don’t ask me why cause they didn’t give me a reason which just adds to my own confusion). Although I was slightly disappointed for not getting in, I’m actually a little relieved. You see, I’m getting the feeling Indiana isn’t going to be my permanent residence. Living in Bloomington, Indiana has been a blessing because it provides me with a “transition place” while I find the right direction for my life. One thing I know for sure is that this is not a permanent residence for me, nor did I ever expect it to be. Did you know that in ALL 50 states in the entire United States, this is the ONLY state where I cannot practice hypnosis in my own office without a license – and they won’t license me because of all the red tape? Yup. I’m telling you, there are so many signs telling me that my direction is somewhere else: I am going to follow the signs.

Which leads me to my point.

I am going to be moving in approximately 8-12 months and will sell my house. I’ve already spoken with my loan officer and discussed this with my realtor. My heart will always be in California (San Francisco area, specifically), however, my heart also belongs with slave m. He and I have been living together off and on for about a year and a half and one of the elements of our relationship we want to strengthen is our family ties. I want to spend my life with him (and with many people – I like multiple partners). His family is in Virginia. My family is in California. Perhaps we may be able to work it out so that I own two homes (it may require downsizing so that I can afford it) across the country. It would be awesome if I could attend college in Virginia Beach, Virginia and have a house there – as well as my own hypnosis office so that clients could come in for real time sessions. And it would be equally awesome to have a second home in San Francisco (or maybe just a room for rent or something) and an office so that I can do real time hypnosis sessions in an open-minded gender-friendly city where I can focus on transgender hypnosis and feminization and all those beautiful topics that interest me. Doing real-time sessions (as well as public seminars on “how to do erotic hypnosis” throughout the country) would certainly pay the rent for both places as well as my college tuition. THAT, my friends, will help me get through medical school so I can be a doctor.

And when I’m a doctor, I’d like to do soooo many things. OMG. That’s another journal entry. But for one thing, I’d like to go to underprivileged communities throughout the world and give my time to those in need. There are so many people who need doctors right now. Combine that with hypnosis and wow. Maybe world peace could happen!

Love
Isabella
xoxooxx