Why I Do What I Do

Do you ever get asked what you do for a living? When someone asks ‘why,’ do they understand why you chose it? Do your family, your friends, your community understand your calling? Why are you invested in your work? Do people know your commitment to developing your talents? These are excellent questions.

A couple years ago, I met with my husband’s family for an intimate dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I specifically remember my eight-year old stepdaughter to my left, my husband to my right, and six unfamiliar faces around a table. While we waited for the food to arrive, my mother-in-law casually asked, “So what do you do?”

Fade to silence. Suddenly the restaurant grew quiet. Eyes are glued. My normal speech wouldn’t do; there were two young children present. I heard crickets. A tumbleweed rolled across the table. Any answer would inevitably lead to more questions. I hesitated until finally being able to mutter, “Uh…” I had nothing. I look over at my husband to change the subject but he’s watching me too… with a huge ass grin on his face. Thanks a lot, baby. Oh yes. Those were fun times. I don’t think I could have made a more memorable impression.

So basically I was caught with my pants down.

I learned something precious. It’s not about what we do, but about why we do it. It’s about people loving people.

Everyone needs a release. Massage therapists give deep tissue massages. Chefs cook food. I give mind rubs, and sometimes they’re laced with sexually explicit content. In an unfamiliar, yet formal family-setting, sometimes “sex” isn’t a word to be brought up at the dinner table but “adult” or “mature” is socially accepted.

I’m committed to developing mindfulness. Sexual awareness is as natural to me as breathing is to a Buddhist monk. I prefer connection to separateness, therefore I see sexuality as an aspect of spirituality, not an exclusion from it.

A friend of mine suggested I was in “the business of loving connection.” I only work with consenting adults; couples, singles, men, and women. An overwhelming majority of my clientelle/friends are transgenders who wish to fully transcend gender itself.

I may not be the prettiest girl in the world, or the thinnest, or the most famous… or whatever qualities that one comes to expect in America when it comes to visual stimulation, but I do know that nothing makes me happier than hypnotizing my friends to have orgasms, either alone or with their partners. My father says I was born to be a writer. In a way, he’s right. I write first, record second, produce third, and market last.

If you have a few more minutes, I’d like to share where I derive satisfaction from all of this.

As a child, I dreamed of becoming a neurologist to find a cure for my brother’s disability. I’ve never really been squeamish around blood, bones, or disfigured bodies. My entire life, literally my whole life since the age of 8 months, I’ve been comfortable in hospitals and have seen things that make grown men cry. When my brother was 2 years old, he had a drowning accident. Due to insufficient funds in research, he suffers severe brain damage due to lack of oxygen for an extended amount of time. His accident was approximately 30 years ago. To this day, he cannot talk, cannot walk, cannot eat (he is tube fed through a hole in his stomach), he wears a diaper every day (which I’ve had to change), and I’ve never had the privilege of having a back-forth conversation with him.

At the age of 17, I enjoyed a summer job as a housekeeper in a rehabilitation center where I drove 2 hours a day up and back to be able to see my brother during breaks. He resided in the pediatric wing, I worked in the geriatric wing the east side of the building.

To fully learn my life lesson and “pay my dues,” I cleaned and/or disposed of everything unsanitary: bedpans, vomit, rectal thermometors, bloody kleenexes… you name it. I’ve witnessed elderly people have heart attacks. I’ve heard last words. I’ve held hands with patients and listened to their stories. I’ve been told I was “the only friend” too many times to count. Several times a day, I re-cleaned rooms which gave me an opportunity to have loving conversations with each resident. One particular man had MS and could not move the lower half of his body. During off-hours, I asked him about his sex life, and he claimed he could still get it on! These open conversations were intimate and loving, and we became close friends. I remember driving to a hospital when he was wheeled in for surgery and with a look of joy, he said, “I have a visitor! I didn’t even know anyone knew me.” It was there I really learned to value connection with people. To fully describe this experience is like explaining feelings associated when counting stars. It’s grand.

I learned to let go. I don’t know what I let go of, but I felt it leave. Maybe it was an illusion of perfection. The clouds parted. Light flooded. I suddenly knew my purpose. I wanted other people to feel the release I was feeling. I realized I wanted to know people. Not just know OF a person but be a source of love FOR them and WITH them. The feeling transcended sex, and it was erotic. This is not to be confused with lust… it was Sacred. Personal. Intimate. Open. Honest. Revealing.

Thirteen years have passed since that moment. I decided to shift my focus to working with the mind, rather than try to correct a broken one. It struck me as odd that sexuality was often undervalued when people sought full body healing and/or release. To this day, I strive to understand sexuality’s role with the body as much as I can.
This is my calling. This is my purpose. This is what I should be doing with my life. Not all sexuality implies imminent orgasm. I promise you, sexuality transcends liquid. It is an embodiment of being.

I’ve attended San Diego City College and studied Psychology, Sexuality (I’ve even taught as a guest lecturer), Sociology and numerous colleges (including Kona University formerly American Pacific University) and seminars that teach hypnosis including clinical hypnotherapy, time line therapy, neuro-linguistic programming, etc. In my self-studies, I’ve learned a great deal about fetishism, power/source, empowerment, love, and ways to pursue personal growth.

To understand the magic that comes along with erotic hypnosis is to experience the letting go. It is a melting. A floating. A moving. A stillness. A void. A contentness. A knowing and not knowing. It is an emotional/spiritual release by means of sexual awareness.

I met my husband through our love of erotic trance. We created a child and overcame my own 9 years of infertility thanks to erotic hypnosis. I believe in this so much, I even legally changed my name to Isabella Suzanne Valentine, my former stage name, to show that there is no shame – nothing to hide.

Some people are meant to be engineers. Some people are meant to be sailors. I was meant to be a trancer.

Hypnosis is a personal journey, and it delights me to connect with people who love my erotic hypnosis recordings. Erotic hypnosis allows me to recognize sexiness in myself and reflect authentic sexuality to others. Soul becomes skin becomes soul. Right now my focus is connection via intimate recordings. In the foreseeable future, after I move out of Indiana and near the ocean, I plan to connect with people through live sessions of many styles including group sessions, one-on-one hypnotic coaching, erotic hypnosis consulting, hypnotic retreats, and hopefully live group sessions not limited to open dialogue, erotic hypnotic performances of guest stars, and of course – the launch of my upcoming book about erotic hypnosis.

I live for this. I’m good at it. Connection is in the air. I’m in this for the long run. Retirement will not stop my pursuit of spreading erotic hypnosis throughout the world. I believe in it’s extraordinary power and warmly welcome any of you reading this to consider exploratory mind trances. If you’re curious but not sure where to start, I invite you to listen to the safe and ethical Tantric Sexual recording called “Rising Fall” which can be experienced alone or with your partner (males, females welcome)!

If need be, please forgive my earlier novice work. It took me nearly 8 years to thoroughly understand that orgasm isn’t the only way to experience sexual release. I’ve discontinued over 150 recordings that aren’t in line with my current life direction. I’m undergoing the daunting task of correcting past mistakes one by one. I ask that if you are still trying to form an opinion about me, or erotic hypnosis in general, please only listen to my newest creations. I can tell you for certain that “Rising Fall” is timeless.

Why do I do this? It is exactly right for me, and I learn AND grow from it every single day.

What would I say at the dinner table next time? “Here let me give you my card. I’m in the service of loving people. We can talk privately about it later when the kids aren’t around “