We’ve got our Christmas tree up. The lights are built into the branches, saves us time unraveling unneccessary wire. Gives us more time to make love in front of the fire later. We do yoga in front of the fireplace sometimes – it’s so meditative to watch the flames in the winter time. Sometimes we do it front of the glass and we look at the bare trees outside – it’s calm and easily relaxes a heavy mind during the holidays. Otherwise we do it in the living room. I like having the red rug under my ass though when I’m doing the crazy positions because I can dig my toes into the shag and not slip or fall.

Speaking of yoga. I’ve already written my next script called PANTYBOY YOGA – so attention pantyboys: go get yourself a pink leotard and some leggings. It would be awesome if you had something pretty to wear for our stretching workout. Make sure the feet are cut out so you’re barefoot to avoid a fall and to achieve better balance. It’s very heavy on the spiritual stuff, mind+body+spirit connection, stretching, feminine attunement, and some Buddhist learnings. I’m no expert on the physical aspects of yoga so I had a lot of help from those more trained than me (online, for specifics on stretch placement) – however all the mind+spirit stuff I’ve really learned how to align when stretching cause it’s very much like a hypnosis trance. I do hope it helps transgenders in the same way yoga helps me. Yoga can help us learn how to deal with negative forces that may get sent in our directions and turn them into positive adventures. It’s common and expected, as human beings, to get angry sometimes. It’s just important not to let negative emotions poorly affect or overwhelm our lives. It’s good to surrender to mercy and nurturing love… and release fear and anger. I’ve read (more than once now), that the liver is where anger is “housed” in the body. The liver directly affects the kidneys. When doing yoga, stomach stretches can be done to “calm” down anger. I’ve seen it work on many people and my goal is hopefully in 10 or 15 years, I might be able to do some affective yoga instructing on multiple dimensional levels. Combine that with therapeutic massage techniques from all over the world (which I’ve been daily and dutifully studying like an eager student) and healing can integrate with sex to make our spiritual and physical orgasms absolutely breathtaking!

Everytime I walk away from kundalini yoga, anger and frustration are a million miles away and I feel safe, protected, and able to communicate with intelligence and poise. I feel like I can do anything. I feel centered and grounded, able to think clearly and beautifully – and able to discern when/where I should or should not speak. My favorite position is child’s pose – it’s so “fetal” like and takes me back to a time of innocence and a love of learning. It’s calming and relaxing and it’s one of those positions that can be done with a partner (my fiance sits on my tailbone) and then he lies back and we roll up together. We sometimes do intensive Thai-massage with each other, which is very intimate and VERY-MUCH a workout.

Right now I’m exploring the subtle differences between loving oneself and praising oneself. As Winston Churchill once said, “We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm.” I believe in humility and self-lessness… but I also believe in egoism and genuine self-confidence. There must be a yin and yang blend of the perfect attitude to take… surely. When it feels right, I’ll know I’ve got it. It’s a learning process. My whole life is a learning and constant evolving. I leave room for more improvement. Note to self: value someone’s opinion without feeling compelled to respond.>

Sex will only improve with mind learning. Paulo Coelho believes, “Well, by accepting that sex is a manifestation of God, and that it is not a sin – it is a blessing.” I think a lot of people get sex, love, lust, and desire all confused and intermingled with one another. Sex, as unto itself, is a beautiful creation of love. In my world, we should all love everyone, regardless of gender or physical traits. Strapons are beautiful, too. They can be used in very loving, nurturing – even dare I say, maternal-love ways. Even a nurse in a hospital does prostate exams for health. I think a beautiful ass fucking can inspire better health for the mind and body. Even homeless (whether they choose it or not) people are worthy of romantic love, you know. I’m sure without a bath and without any money, we’d all be craving intimate touch. Love gets all controversial when philosophy and existentialism gets involved. I can’t help what I read. It’s drawn to me like I’m an water magnet of the earth or something. Words like “evil” and “God” and “sacrifice” get thrown in there. It gets to a place where all there is – is either extreme disagreement or extreme reason to inflict pain on others with an opinion. It’s tiresome. Is it so wrong that I want to live in a fantasy world of boundary-less love and have an endless supply of love even though I know circumstances could very easily tempt and test me, should fear ever get involved. Love love love. John Lennon said it best. All you need is love. Yeah and what he forgot is that all we need is love when we feel we have none around us. I often feel like, when I am most alone, I am the least alone. I feel stuff all the time. I hear energies all the time. It’s like I hear the trees, the ground, the stars, the clouds – I can feel things often before they happen. Many times the animals have conversations with me through the windows of my home. I’ve counted 30-60 species of birds, per day, that fly to my backyard deck for black oil sunflower seeds. It’s almost like I can predict when they’ll come – and when they do, I analyze them like I’m a cat (I embrace the black panther kitty cat inside me). Birds and squirrels are much the same to me. Their heads move like they’re constantly embracing fear, like they’re always self-preserving themselves from predators. Overly-aware. And Johnny cat watches from the window, so eager and ready to pounce. The circle of life, man, the circle of life. One eats to be eaten. But why can’t we all just window watch. It’s an interesting dilemma.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoxo

and here’s what it looks like at night:

Love
Isabella
xoxoox

This sensual erotic hypnosis recording is designed for men who want to be more in-tune with their feminine sides. This is almost THREE TIMES as long as most of my other recordings (approx. 83 minutes).

It turns me on when men dress in panties. The truth is, it’s always been arousing for me. This session is beautiful and personal because I spend a great deal of time sharing parts of myself that love pantyboys and how they arouse me. And in doing so, builds a deep trust with you. Surrender to me so I can become more powerful. The weaker you become, the more powerful I become. And the more control I have over your body and mind, the better your sexual feminization experience.

I don’t want to give too much away about this recording because there is a treasure within that’s often better without hints, but what I will say is that it’s a long, relaxing retreat for lovers of feminization. Learn how to balance being a man as well as a woman and reveal the total you.

Recording includes:
Erotic hypnosis, femdom, feminization, wearing panties and feminine garments, post-hypnotic suggestions, triggers, orgasm command, building trust and rapport, building a deep profound connection with me, surrender, losing control, estrogen increase, and releasing the female within.

Format: MP3 Download
Sound Quality: Professional First-Rate
Vocal Sound Effects: No
Prop Sound Effects: No
Soft Background Music: No
Overdubbing Vocals: No
Length: 1 hour, 23 minutes
Zip File Size: Approx. 71 MB
Regular Price: $100
Price: $50.00

Buy Now

And what’s awesome to me about eating at Roots is that no matter who I take there, the connection always seems to be perfect. There’s never a worry about weirdness or being too romantic or too hopeful or too overpriced or too much expectation. It’s the very kind of place a person can be oneself. For some reason, I equate cloth napkins as being the type of accessory in which a person has to act slightly differently than their “normal self” which is one reason I like to eat at places with disposable ones. But I don’t like fast food cause it’s too unhealthy, too cheap, often times: too dirty, and most of the employees have little incentive to keep things clean and awesome. Roots is the perfect alternative. It’s quick enough so you don’t feel like you’re waiting forever for your food. It’s long enough so you have time to communicate with your friends without rushing. It’s clean enough that you could eat off the floor. And it feels like a mom and pop type place except run by twenty-somethings.

After Roots, she and I went to the Dharma Emporium where we bought some oils, a tie-dyed Bloomington t-shirt, hemp necklaces, books about the mind, and a trippy poster. Then we went to a restaurant/bar/shopping place called “Farm” so we could see what all the hype was about. I bought some organic soaps and candles and checked out the menu for later use. A bit expensive for what they were offering. For a simple hot veggie dish, it was $18. Some things went as high as $26, which in itself isn’t a lot of money, but in Bloomington it is. We made acquaintances with some of the workers and had a few free samples and listened to some “Me and Mrs. Jones” music playing over head. Their bar seems pretty hip. Must go back.

When we went to her place, we waited till darkness then took a walk to a nearby lake where we heard the most beautiful sounds of animals in the grass and water but couldn’t make out what type of animal we could hear. It almost sounded like geese and frogs but could have been something different. Listening to those animals was pure magic… and quite musical. Then we spotted what we thought was a black cat but at no point could we make out details. We made the assumption that we thought it was a cat based on the fact there were times at which it appeared there was no grass. By using the process of deletion we were able to make a valid conclusion that where there was no grass, there was darkness. And that darkness moved in the shape synonymous with that of a cat.

It’s the small things that really count.

Love
Isabella
xooxox

Ok. So as you may know, I’ve been out of state for the last week staying at a family member’s house. With all the lack of privacy and lack of time, I absolutely did not masturbate during the vacation. For me, that’s a long time! I’m used to masturbating maybe once per day or at LEAST once every two days. So for me to go nearly a week was mentally exhausting. When I got home, my roommate Jenni was packing her suitcase for a vacation to Maryland… so naturally, a lightbulb goes off and I think, “Yay I get the house to myself! I can masturbate and orgasm as loud as I want!”

So night time comes. I am alone in the house. I go online browsing for internet porn. This time I wanted something different than the usual dominant woman whipping a submissive girl. Variety is important or else I’ll get bored. This time I wanted to watch a girl on webcam. I just wanted to see her stripteasing and flirting into the camera as if I were in a stripclub. A girl who smiles, looks like the girl next door, and who likes to tease. Not hard, right? Since I knew what I wanted, now I had to figure out where to go.

I could have picked Niteflirt, because it’s where I work. But I opted against it because I’d hate to put a girl in a strange position to feel obligated to put on a show for one of her coworkers. Sometimes girls get pesky on Niteflirt if they think “competition” is watching them. And yes, I do have a separate screen name on Niteflirt for the very sole purpose of masturbating and getting off to girls. Most of the time they have no clue it’s me unless I just tell them. If I think even for a moment that a webcam girl on Niteflirt is intimidated by me (and most won’t admit it, but often times they are), I won’t pay for her services. When I’m in masturbation-mode, the last thing I want to do is “check out competition,” and instead just wanna get my nut off.

So I went to an unfamiliar adult cam website, which I’ll leave nameless. If you’re desperate to know the name, email me (not through Niteflirt) and I’ll tell you. The girls were pretty and beautiful, as are many camgirls in the industry. They even had a free chat you could have before hand with the girls. The girls wouldn’t really type back, but they would look all cute and pretty in the preview video screen. I went from one girl’s video preview screen to another… looking for someone who, frankly, didn’t appear bored out of her mind. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand that it is impossible to be in a hot, horny, happy mood 24 hours a day. I’m well familiar with this adult industry and was a phone sex operator for many years before becoming a hypnotist. I know a lot of the attitudes are “put on” to make the customer feel happy, and that was ok with me. I didn’t need genuine “hot and horny” from a girl. But I at LEAST wanted her to pretend she was hot for me. Was that too much to ask? Couldn’t a girl just pretend to be excited to see a paying customer?

So I gave a girl a try. She looked adorable in the preview screen. It was a pay-per-minute deal, and I had about an hour’s worth of credits. The minute she comes on, she strips completely naked (absolutely no teasing involved at all) and begins going through the motions like a robot. And I stopped her and explained what I wanted. I told her it would turn me on if she took her time and stripteased her clothes like a stripper. Where she’ll show a breast, then cover it up. Show her ass, then play hard to get. And I also know that it’s important for ME to be just as vocal about what *I* want so that she’s not left playing a guessing game. She immediately got redressed and then sat there like an idiot. She rubbed the same spot on her panties the whole time without moving her legs, her arms, nothing. It was like watching the Twilight Zone on crack. She was a zombie. I left. I wanted someone else.

Girl number two. Hot, cute, wore glasses. Million dollar smile. Very very very cute. I figured if she wears glasses maybe she’s intelligent and can give me lots of eye contact which is very hot, especially in a stripclub. I paid for a private show and we began. I described what I wanted but she seemed confused. Finally she just asked if she wanted me to zoom in on her face and I said sure. So the duration of the time, she either put a dildo or her finger in her mouth and sucked on it. I did not want to pay by the minute to watch a girl sucking on something. Again I spoke up and told her what I wanted: a striptease. That’s all I had been trying to get. Nothing. She kept sucking her finger like a baby. I left.

Maybe third time would be a charm. Third girl. At this point I didn’t even care if I got a striptease. I just wanted to get aroused. Until this point, I wasn’t even slightly aroused. Those who know me can testify that even mundane things like leaves, trees, and carpet can sexually excite me. Come on ladies, I’m easy to arouse. Honest. I got money to spend, take your time. Let’s do this. So this other girl comes on, she actually begins doing a striptease without me even asking. Wow. How hot. Perfect body. Instant clit boner. Fucking hot. About ten minutes go by, she’s been doing lots of eye contact into the camera, touching her body, etc… and then…. she ruined my nut. She began typing on the computer. At first I thought she was typing to me and there must have been a delay. Nope. She continued to type and type and type to people. Apparently I wasn’t the only one watching this so-called “private show.”

Sorry, but I absolutely cannot get off watching a girl type on her keyboard to another “customer.” It ruined the fantasy of thinking that, temporarily, she was really interested in me. I left.

Fuck it.

So I did the unthinkable. I masturbated looking at a photo of myself. It worked. It was better than getting laid. Looking directly into my own eyes, I established intimacy. And because it was a self-portrait, I knew what I was thinking at the time and it was genuine arousal. And because it ME, what’s not to like but yourself? It’s not the first time I’ve masturbated to my picture, video, or voice… and certainly won’t be the last. After last night, I can only assume I’ll want to display more things worth wacking off too, at least for me.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoxo

This 2-girl romantic erotic hypnosis recording is designed for those who appreciate the hypnotic language of love. You may agree with me when I say that it is incredibly hot when two languages are spoken, when both talking about sex, love, and intimacy. For years, I envisioned creating an mp3 like this, so finally completing this is a dream come true. I do hope it appeals to you on a deep, unconscious level to stimulate not only your body, but your mind as well. This bilingual mp3 is spoken in English and translated in Spanish for a truly mind-altering experience. You may recognize the voice of my friend, Jenna, translating my words into Spanish.

Fall into a spiral of colors, blending into the shape of love and connection, whirling and swimming in hypnotic ecstacy… as if you’re sleeping on clouds, and then falling deeper into a tunnel that leads you into the long-awaited… nothingness.

Be sexually and spiritually aroused by a romantic Spanish guitar strumming elegant strings, Rumi-inspired hypnotic poetry, and the romanticism of Español, overlapping with whispered English, flavored words that weave into one another until it need not matter which language is deepening your trance.

Allow yourself to be pulled into trance by pretty, feminine voices that arouse and entice you. This is recording was designed to be gender-neutral, which means men and women can equally achieve trance and orgasm.

Fetishes Include:
Erotic hypnosis, romanticism, bilingual, English, Spanish, erotic triggers, hypnotic deepeners, orgasm command, love and addiction, creative visualizations, spirals, patterns, tunnels, love fetish, beauty, connection, intimacy, and erotic flirtation and teasing.

Format: MP3 Download
Sound Quality: Professional First-Rate
Vocal Sound Effects: Yes
Prop Sound Effects: No
Soft Background Music: Yes
Overdubbing Vocals: Yes
Length: 46 minutes
Zip File Size: Approx. 43 MB
Price: $35.00

Buy Now

Enjoy the intimacy and relaxation of sexual Oneness. This profound recording blends together several layers of echoes, whispers, and sensual suggestions deep within the mind to help you embrace the “connection” experience.

Erotic undertones designed for sexual pleasure as well as an energetic release. This is designed for both men and women and couples can also enjoy this. If you’ve ever wanted to feel an intimate connection with a woman (whether with Me or someone else), then this recording is for you. I’d rather not give too much info about this away because I’m confident more people will like it when there’s a bit of mystery.

Recording includes:
Creative visualizations, erotic hypnosis, sexual undertones, energy, connection, oneness, implied masturbation, and erotic intimacy.

Format: MP3 Download
Sound Quality: Professional First-Rate
Vocal Sound Effects: Many
Prop Sound Effects: No
Soft Background Music: No
Overdubbing Vocals: Yes
Length: 29 minutes
Zip File Size: Approx. 27 MB
Price: $35.00

Buy Now