I must admit, writing little mini text-trances are rather fulfilling. I hope you feel the same

This week my husband and I have been playing Champions of Norrath: Return to Arms (we’re now at level 43 and he’s at level 36 – after importing our level 20 characters from the previous game). Special thanks to Mistress Candice for buying us this much-loved video game as a wedding gift! Our goal is to see if we can make it to the maximum level 80. By the way, I’m playing a female barbarian warrior named Regina and use a combination of a maxed out level of Critical Hit plus a maxed out level of Slam to put out several thousands points of damage. Currently one of my ‘critical slams’ dishes out over 6,000 damage! Hotness! Hubby got tired of playing the female wizard (too challenging compared to other characters), so is doing way better now as a bow-carrying female ranger which I made him name her “Tingle” while he was blindfolded (I’m so bad!). He damages/kills the enemies from long-range, while I fight face-to-face melee with my war hammer (which is totally maxed out with the blunt-damage ability). This game so rocks! We’re totally digging this, thanks Candice! Kiss kiss!

By the way, March 7 (4 days from now) will be my 6-year anniversary since I began erotic hypnosis professionally online. Exciting stuff!

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

Now I have pneumonia (and feeling surprisingly better, to be able to write this today). Yesterday my fever reached 103 and I had reached 3 days of having no energy, so I knew there was a serious problem. One thing that sucks about having a fever is the chills. It’s like a false temperature gauge. Sometimes it FEELS warmer than it is, so you want all your clothes off and you want to sweat it off and fight it. Other times it’s FREEZING and you wanna bundle yourself under the sheets and not move your head. In my case I couldn’t tell what end was up or what day was what. One minute it was light outside. One minute it was dark. The one thing I did know for sure was that I had an excruciating migraine alongside a horrible wheezing cough.

Feel brave? Starting now, pretend you’re me! Try to understand my point-of-view as a hypnotist and why this concept is driving me bats!

I have two animals living inside me. A panther and a squirrel. Perhaps you’ve met them both. The panther is a predator but not mean at all, just beautiful by design and commands attention from a room. Respected, yes. Resourceful, yes. The squirrel has a lot of fiestiness and craziness and unpredictability. The squirrel wears pigtails. The panther does hypnosis. Both need each other to coexist. I am not ME without both. Both are needed to balance me out. I’m a scorpio by default so I’m passionate about EVERYTHING. I analyze stuff to death. And to be honest, I think this is what makes my migraines even worse. I analyze things TOO much to tell you to truth. Sometimes I rip concepts and ideas apart until I pick apart the nitty-gritty of it to see the bare essentials. I believe that, on many levels, I have the power to “not get sick.” After all, I often hypnotize people to remove sicknesses and dis-eases from their bodies. I understand that all a so-called dis-ease IS – is a disharmonious vibration in the body. So as a hypnotist, I’m thinking of every creative way possible to get RID OF THIS BEAST that is pounding my head with a sledgehammer. I tried listening to someone else’s healing hypnosis session (someone I trust implicitely). The pounding subsided while I listened to the session but returned when it was over. I went into the Lea~Koa room and listened to slave m play the crown chakra crystal bowls hoping it would smooth the vibrations but the pain stayed. Meditation worked for the pain short-term but not long-term – at least not for me. But theoretically, it should have. Maybe I haven’t learned the art of trust and surrender. Or maybe I have but I’m afraid of the pain involved if betrayed. The body can betray just like people can. I’ve analyzed betrayal to death and I have nothing to fear right now. Everything is in its rightness in the universe. The squirrel and panther are at peace. So why the sickness? I make love to the mirror. I love myself and love others. I even love those who have hurt me and even love random strangers who call me names intended to inflict pain. So why am I sick? Isn’t sickness intended for those who need to learn a lesson of some sort? Or hmm… maybe my lesson was to learn about laughter. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

This is where maybe “those” people were right when they said laughter is the best medicine.

I regularly record “So you think you can dance” on my television so I can be kept up to date with the dancers from week to week. It’s a beautiful personal connection and everything to me about the show is magnificent. I personally enjoy Katee, Chelsea, Mark, and Joshua (not in that order) and it’s based on their facial expressions and their “feel of the music” not necessarily their technique. Their bodily expressions give me inspiration on a transcendental level that defy explanation. Well anyway, while I was sick, I forced myself to get out of bed and watch something entertaining. If your head has ever felt smashed by a Mack truck, then you already know how hard it is to get up from that stuck state to actually do something. Right before the show started, I took my temperature. It said 101.9 F. It had been steadily that for several hours. Then I began watching the show. I smiled. I laughed. Total awesomeness and happiness and grrrr. I felt wonderful!!! My fever broke. *begin sweat here and grab paper towels for the couch* Take a two hour show minus the fast-forwarding of commercials and that’s maybe about an hour and a half. Took my temperature again. Swear to God. 98.6 degrees. Just by watching a tv show I loved, my temperature broke. In fact, the whole time I watched the show, my head didn’t hurt at all. But get this. As soon as the show ended, my head started to hurt again and 30 minutes later my temperature sored back up to 101.9.

THIS is where as a hypnotist, I started analyzing the psychological aspects of this. And analyzing things is the LAST thing a person should be doing when they have a migraine. Fortunately, I had Looney Tunes and tea. Just love that little Pussyfoot.

*sigh* Cartoons.

What’s crazy about all this is that pneumonia almost killed me when I was 14 years old. It landed me in the hospital for nearly a week and my lungs took forever to recover.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxoox

P.S. When the doctor ran his hands down my back and asked, “Do you feel tender here?”
I actually said, “Oooh that feels good…”
He said to me… “I’ll have to charge you extra for that.”

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a doctor. A neurosurgeon actually. During the course of my life, I walked along other paths which became more appealing to me. I successfully explored journalism, hospital janitorial work, graphic and web design, phone sex, and for the last five and a half years… domination and hypnotism. In high school, I worked as a cashier at a grocery store in the poor section of town while simultaneously working side jobs folding clothes at a laundry mat and cleaning apartments after residents moved out. It didn’t matter what job I had, I loved it. I’d invest my mind, heart, and soul into it and delve head-first into it and make it my passion. It’s easy to recognize the integrity of any type of work because essentially, all it is – is helping others. One of my favorite jobs was being a housekeeper/janitor for a rehabilitation center in Plymouth, Massachussetts where I was responsible for cleaning the residential wing of the geriatric section. The best part about it was getting to connect with the elderly patients and talk to them on a personal level, visit with them while cleaning their televisions and mopping their floors. The worst part, I suppose if there were such a thing, was cleaning up vomit and feces when they’d miss the toilet. The beauty of it is that I never gave a bad face or made people feel bad when they made “gross” in their bathrooms. I loved making them feel at ease. I loved reassuring the residents and loved even more telling them how important they were. I miss helping people on a “healing” level and for as long as I can remember, I’ve volunteered at hospitals. I’ve been around hospitals my whole life (my brother is handicapped and has required hospital care 24/7 for over 25 years), so I’ve never been squeemish around blood or bones. Science and anatomy are some of my favorite subjects, especially when combined with psychology and topics dealing with the mind. I feel more comfortable inside of a hospital building than I do in my own home sometimes. And because I’ve been around many life and death situations, I feel I could handle being under intense amounts of pressure in any given situation where I have to make sudden choices. And although these two things may not compare, I worked at a daily newspaper where we had deadlines practically every hour on the hour and the stress was insane. If I can handle the stress of corporate America and having ten bosses telling me that we need digital to film RC STAT, I think I might have the potential to handle the stress of running into an ER room at three in the morning to sew stitches in a child’s lip when a cat scratches it.

I do hope I have a point somewhere in this conversation. Where is it. Oh yeah.

So there’s this thing, like I said. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a doctor. I still want that. I don’t necessarily want to be a brain surgeon anymore but I’ve been seriously contemplating going to medical school to be a doctor of some sort. I’d like to be able to perform surgeries. Not just that, but I’d like to combine the hypnosis skills I’ve learned ALONG WITH medical practice to increase the effectiveness of healing others. It saddens me that some doctors frown upon hypnosis as a “new age thing” while some hypnotists frown upon doctors as being “all about medicine.” The truth is, sometimes medicine + hypnosis is far more effective than just one or the other when it comes to healing aches and pains. Hypnosis is a great tool for people who want to self-heal using the power of their own minds. Medicine is a great tool for people who rely on prescriptions to heal their bodies. But the two together are far more effective.

I thought my life plan would involve me being a psychologist or psychiatrist but the doors seem to be closing all around me. All the signs are pointing to no. The universe is clearly telling me that my direction is somewhere else. I didn’t mention this in my journal because I figured I’d just reapply, but Indiana University denied my application (and please don’t ask me why cause they didn’t give me a reason which just adds to my own confusion). Although I was slightly disappointed for not getting in, I’m actually a little relieved. You see, I’m getting the feeling Indiana isn’t going to be my permanent residence. Living in Bloomington, Indiana has been a blessing because it provides me with a “transition place” while I find the right direction for my life. One thing I know for sure is that this is not a permanent residence for me, nor did I ever expect it to be. Did you know that in ALL 50 states in the entire United States, this is the ONLY state where I cannot practice hypnosis in my own office without a license – and they won’t license me because of all the red tape? Yup. I’m telling you, there are so many signs telling me that my direction is somewhere else: I am going to follow the signs.

Which leads me to my point.

I am going to be moving in approximately 8-12 months and will sell my house. I’ve already spoken with my loan officer and discussed this with my realtor. My heart will always be in California (San Francisco area, specifically), however, my heart also belongs with slave m. He and I have been living together off and on for about a year and a half and one of the elements of our relationship we want to strengthen is our family ties. I want to spend my life with him (and with many people – I like multiple partners). His family is in Virginia. My family is in California. Perhaps we may be able to work it out so that I own two homes (it may require downsizing so that I can afford it) across the country. It would be awesome if I could attend college in Virginia Beach, Virginia and have a house there – as well as my own hypnosis office so that clients could come in for real time sessions. And it would be equally awesome to have a second home in San Francisco (or maybe just a room for rent or something) and an office so that I can do real time hypnosis sessions in an open-minded gender-friendly city where I can focus on transgender hypnosis and feminization and all those beautiful topics that interest me. Doing real-time sessions (as well as public seminars on “how to do erotic hypnosis” throughout the country) would certainly pay the rent for both places as well as my college tuition. THAT, my friends, will help me get through medical school so I can be a doctor.

And when I’m a doctor, I’d like to do soooo many things. OMG. That’s another journal entry. But for one thing, I’d like to go to underprivileged communities throughout the world and give my time to those in need. There are so many people who need doctors right now. Combine that with hypnosis and wow. Maybe world peace could happen!

Love
Isabella
xoxooxx

I haven’t lost any pounds since September. In fact, I had plateaued for almost 6 months. Then in this month (April), I actually gained 15 pounds (and no, it wasn’t muscle). Can you believe it? I gained. And this was all while I was consciously watching my eating portions, went for semi-daily walks, and had lots of mind motivation. So instead of losing 100 pounds… it’s as if I’ve only lost 85 pounds.

This frustrated me, and lit a fire under my ass quicker than you can say, “cheese.”

After much self-conflict, I decided to try Nutri-System because they have a vegetarian program that I can follow. Becoming vegetarian, essentially, would mean eating dairy products again. A huge part of me does NOT want to do this (for my love of animals). But the other part of me is begging to do this (because I love myself). My love for myself won. Today, my Nutri-System food came in… enough for a full month. Today is my first day on the program. Officially I’m a vegetarian, not a vegan. Mark my words: once I get to my goal weight and am able to maintain it, I have every intention of becoming vegan again. I enjoyed that eating lifestyle very much and felt sooo good doing it.

So now that I’m on NS, I am confident that this will be the much-needed push to get me over the roller-coaster hump and push me downhill. I have about 115 pounds to lose. I’ll be sure to keep you all posted over time for those that have been following my weight reduction over the past year and a half. I can just *FEEL* that this program is going to catapult me right where I should be. This is the exact same feeling I got when I walked into Jenny Craig for the first time and just *knew* they could help. And they did. They helped save my life.

In the meantime, here is a photo of my back. Someone requested I show a zoomed in shot of my tattoos so they could see more detail work. Here you go!

P.S. I’m considering getting a scorpion (or other scorpio symbol) tattooed underneath Marilyn.

Here’s a photo of my upper right arm/shoulder:

Love
Isabella
xoxooxox

P.S. Tomorrow Johnny goes to the vet for a checkup. I’m crossing my fingers that he’s been healing this week!

I wrote an 8-page autobiography essay based on my transformation with hypnosis and NLP from the Empowerment Partnership. The company wants me to be a focused case study on their upcoming, revamped website and will use segments of my personal story. Currently it’s being read my members of American Pacific University and being forwarded to a PR firm in Hawaii who seeks someone like me for a Glamour Magazine article about hypnosis for their August issue. They want someone with a success story. If you’d like to read it, here it is.

Isabella’s Personal Success Story

I accidentally walked in on her naked in MY bathtub this morning and ever since then, my brain has turned to mush. I want her in every sexual way possible right now. Now, just gotta work on my charisma so it’ll lead us into the bedroom together.

One thing is for sure, we’re recording a dual tag-team hypnosis recording TONIGHT, and we’ll release the finished product first thing TOMORROW.

Words cannot explain what is going on through my head right now. I suppose most under-rated emotions I’m feeling right now are: horny, aroused, excited, nervous, anxious, happy, ecstatic, nauseus (in a good way), and aaaahhhhhhhh (if that’s an emotion) and all those feelings you get when you’re about to go on stage for the first time in front of a crowd of people.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

P.S. If you want to peek at the two of us teasing each other during our time together, check out this thread on Inraptured. I’m sure we’ll be adding to it while she’s still here.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxo

In the meantime, here are some photos from the “Angel Eyes” video. The natural white light of the window and sheer curtains truly made these shots.

If you like these photos, then you’ll definitely love the videos. I’ll write more info about it tomorrow, along with links where you can watch free samples.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxo

The mp3 is titled “Escape” but it’s not necessarily the definition of escape we are all used to. Instead of “running away” from something, this teaches the art of “running to” something. While I was in Hawaii, I experienced a personal escape that is practically impossible to describe. Everything around me feels beautiful now and I feel a personal growth that truly cannot be put into words. But this mp3 sort of reflects a small portion of what I feel and I hope others can benefit from it.

Instead of charging $35 for it, which is the price of most of my other recordings, I’m releasing it at $19.97 for a short time (until Dec. 1st and then will resume regular price). This way people who don’t have as much money can experience it.

The whole point of the mp3 is to make you feel incredible – perhaps even feel an out-of-body experience. Whatever you hope to get out of it, you can achieve.

It’s designed for both men and women and a longer description of the recording can be found here.

Free sample available here

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox

P.S. Ironically, I just finished reading a book titled “Escape” by Carolyn Jessop. I suppose the main difference being I’m not a 4th wife who just left her husband and large family of 36 kids. (She did leave with 8 of them which were her own and sadly, one girl, Betty, returned back home to the FDLS lifestyle). The book was a true story and really blew my mind. Thank you for the sweetheart who bought it for me. It was a page turner and I was truly on the edge of my seat the whole time.