The wait is over!

Jackpot 3: Delectable Paradise, at long last, has officially been scripted, recorded, edited, and completed (after nearly a month in the making).

The sheer amount of emails regarding this mp3 is astounding! Yes, this mp3 has a lot of hype – especially since the first two are such big hits, and this one, apparently, since I took my sweet time making it, may be considered even better than both of the first two. But then again, I’m a bit biased because I always feel, on an ethereal level, that all my newest recordings are far more evolved than my older ones. There is a growth process that I experience with each new mp3 that takes me further and further into the message I wish to convey, which, essentially allows me newfound clarity so I can communicate what it is I’m wanting to share much better. It’s hard to explain, mostly because it involves a lot of philosophical understanding (most of which, to be honest, confuses the brain out of me) – so I simply state: this mp3 is by far my most loving mp3. It is a joy for me to record hypnosis that involves love and romance and it feels like it’s been far too long since I’ve made one.

I consider this mp3 to be one of my greatest accomplishments (along with the Zero Gravity series and Negative Infinity) for many reasons.

◊ First, I wrote this mp3 as if I were romantically aligned with my audience. For two weeks, I’ve been a romantic, giddy newlywed since my beloved and I legally tied the knot. This erotic hypnosis recording delves into the romantic way in which I speak to him during some of our intimate hypnosis sessions in the bedroom.

◊ Secondly, it is important to me that listeners who experience this recording feel included in our romance, instead of feeling that, “Oh well, since she’s married, she can’t be my fantasy.” So I spent a great deal of time making sure this mp3 nurtures the listener into feeling as though this was written specifically for him. (It is designed for a man, not gender-neutral).

◊ Thirdly, I’ve been told by many male customers that they are married to amazing wives or are already committed in romantic relationships with other women. I feel that now that I’m married, men (and their significant others), may feel a stronger sense of security that I support their relationships and because I’m in my own committed relationship, there is no need for fear that I subconsciously desire to steal their men.

Just recently, I had a guy email me and ask if it were possible to be happily married to his wife while maintaining a hypnotic relationship with me. The question, itself, is a rather simple one. The answer, though, is quite complicated. I replied that, at least in my experience, it is extremely important, within an exclusive committed relationship (not referring to poly ones), to maintain open and honest communication… without boundaries, lies, or secrets. Whether or not customers wish to express everything to his or her partner is completely up to them. What someone does in the privacy of their own home is of their own free will, however… I personally believe that open communication is a sure way to avoid hurt feelings of either partner in the future. While I certainly understand a majority of my listeners have expressed that their partners may NOT accept what they do (whether out of fear, insecurity, jealousy, or… perhaps they think they could offer a better experience than me), I do believe, in all sincerity, it’s better to come forward and be honest with one another. If worse comes to worse and your woman doesn’t want you listening to other women’s erotic hypnosis, simply suggest she listen to an mp3 for herself that is geared towards WOMEN. I’ve got several (in the Recordings for Women category) designed JUST for the ladies. Have her listen to Euphoria where I arouse and tease her… or if she doesn’t understand domination, have her listen to Tingle. Or… you can show her that not all my recordings are erotic and many are designed for men AND women, such as Glass Whispers or The Muse.

Jackpot 3: Delectable Paradise involves a lot of romance, “I love yous,” and a passionate intimate connection. If your lady partner has a problem with this, it might be a good idea to share with her that I am married and this was written for my husband. It could be said that you are simply channeling the romantic energy for an orgasm… and quite possibly (and hopefully) this could help benefit YOUR relationship (or future relationships).

Whether you’re married, single, attached, widowed, divorced, separated, working things out, fighting, getting along, working different schedules, beginning a new relationship, or WHATEVER… I believe it is quite possible that when this mp3 is viewed with the healthy understanding that I am simply allowing myself to be viewed as a fantasy of real love, then everything discussed will make perfect sense. I can certainly see how this can be hard to grasp, so if this is a bit hard to fathom, I recommend you read a little bit about Rumi and his unconditional love for Shams. If you look into his history and life… and then read his love for Shams, his beloved… you’ll understand why I felt the need to make this recording. Everyone, at one time or another, needs to feel this. Although Rumi’s focus was on the love of Shams, he wrote thousands of poems designed so the READER could channel that love energy and feel it. To this day, his spiritual, Sufi, love poetry brings people to tears and states of enlightenment that enrich their lives for the better. I’m an immortal fan of Rumi, and you may sense some of his thoughts channeled in my own words. (If I had both the time and the clarity to communicate what I’m babbling about, I would.)

Although my mp3s are mostly designed around an element of fantasy, romance, or worship of “ME” – keep in mind, that in MY head, the word “ME” actually implies that everyone on earth is technically the same person. Ah, again, it’s hard to explain. Essentially, when you find love with someone – do so lovingly and with loyalty. I do believe it is possible to maintain relationships with people while being physically, and emotionally, faithful while still embracing an element of sexual fantasy. For many people, I am a hypnotic fantasy Goddess. I’ve convinced myself that, for the most part, a majority of my customers actually like me better as a fantasy than a real person anyway (if for any other reason, because I have high, often unrealistic, expectations in all my relationships.)

This image is what inspired me to record this. Alex Grey is one of the most talented artists of our time, and I am continually amazed by his work of enlightenment, especially those depicting real love.

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Here’s an exclusive sneak peak of the description of Jackpot 3: Delectable Paradise

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There is no language which could adequately describe the seductive, romantic power of this recording. Instead, I offer you two little excerpts of this 8,000 word erotic hypnosis session.

“My legs embracing your mind wrapping around and around like the words circling my tongue. Drift into the tunnel of surrender that is looping around your mind listening to my words, like the earth orbiting the sun… we are drawn to each other, my love. I am seducing you with my black silk stockings, elegant and refined. French hosiery. You’re a man. Impressionable mind drooling over my powerful legs enchanted with charisma and confidence. And when you realize your mind wants more, fall deeper.”

“Your cock is breathing mercy and I am blowing whispery, hypnotic, mellifluous smoke – flowing like honey. There are many types of ways to breathe… slow like the flow of honey falling from a glass, gently, frenchkissing the tongue of unbridled intimacy. Calm breathing, soft to the touch, like a question that sways you deeper into trance. How far do you want to go?  Deeper.  Like your breath, high and low, low and high, weaving one long hypnotic thread. “

What you should know: In this mp3, I don’t re-explain the hands-free orgasm trigger… instead, I simply say it. It is imperative that if you want an effective experience with this mp3, you must have already successfully experienced the hands-free orgasm trigger from the FIRST Jackpot: No Hands recording in this series. It is NOT necessary to have listened to Jackpot 2.

There is no references to domination, Mistress, or Goddess worship and instead focuses on the deepening of our romantic love for one another. This is my first erotic recording as a married woman, and I’m confident that those who enjoy love fantasies will channel our deep connection.

Recording includes: erotic hypnosis, romance, seduction, unconditional love, acceptance, silky stockings, full body Ki breathing, universal fantasy, magic words, eternal dance of passion, lucid dreaming, hypnotic pheremones, love fetish (for me, and me for you), flirtacious ecstasy, post-hypnotic suggestions of love, erotic triggers of love and arousal, hands-free orgasm trigger.

—

Love
Isabella
xoxoxo

The thing is. Or at least from what I’ve observed from other people who have schizophrenia, most people when they get paranoid, think “people are after them.” That’s never been an issue with me. The opposite is true. I often think “people are supporting me.” It’s all positive thinking, thanks to lots of self-hypnosis. It only appears “bad” when I start believing I’m God (and everyone else is me) and believe it so much that when I meet someone, I have no idea who they are anymore. Many times, when I watch television, I’m able to dictate what Barack Obama says before he even says it. And 99% of the time, whatever I’m thinking is conveyed on the television screen by actors, commercials, or themes of tv shows. When trees fell down around my house during a bad storm, I felt I had control over the trees and protected my house with a shield (I’ve got photos of the trees, plus one that, if it had fell the opposite direction, would have killed me instantly). When lightning strikes, my body physically responds to them with extreme sensations. When I was in the hospital, I had over a hundred orgasms during a thunderstorm and they were so intense that they appeared to be seizures to the doctors because my body was convulsing with energy. It was easy for me to get confused when meeting new people. It was hard to determine if they are “different” people or if they’re merely people I’ve met before because I’m (or someone else) is inhabiting their bodies. I’ve channeled God inside me so many times that I’m even convinced I have real lottery numbers. If only I knew which day to play them *wink*. Which by the way, if I win, I’m giving the winning ticket to slave m so we can create charities together. And all my hypnosis recordings would be free forever and I could make more and more and never charge for them. I’ve channeled Jesus inside my body so many times that I was even convinced I could be the next “coming of the lord.” The responsibility of knowing that was unbelievable. It felt that in 2012, I would be the one walking the earth as Jesus and technically, I’ve already sounded my trumpets and come down from the sky (it was in the Apocalypse recording, which I took off the site a year ago) and the select few who heard it would be even more privileged later. It got so intense that everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING around me seem to show me signs that proved it. In the hospital, I channeled Jesus in my body as he was dying on the cross. I even remember looking out at people while they cried as I was dying. It’s impossible for me to forget that (and I’m not even a religious person!) It’s impossible to even go to the store and not see Jesus things reaching out to me. This all started in San Francisco when I met two people. One person claimed to be the son of God and made the sun brighter with his fist. The second person, a guy named Russell, read my mind for nearly 5 minutes and telephatically convinced me he was Jesus. If I told you the details, I doubt you’d believe me. I didn’t believe me either at first. I refuse to spend my time convincing others of things that *I seriously believe are real* when my logic tells me it’s impossible.

So anyway. Yesterday morning, according to slave m, I was screaming and kicking him in my sleep (something I’ve never done before). I was having a dream where police officers were stealing my money while doctors forced me into a mental institution. The dream ended when blood started coming through my pores of my skin and I saw several children staring at me with shock. Above their heads were blank lightbulbs and the voice of God (through telepathy) told me it was my duty to turn their lights on. I woke up instantly and argued that. It’s not my job to “impose beliefs” on someone and I refuse to do it. Within minutes, I asked slave m to take me to the pharmacy to pick up my $360 antipsychotic medicine. The one thing that called out to me was slave m’s daughter. I can’t wait to meet her and love her. I want to move to Virginia and sell my house so he can be close to her. During my manic episode, I felt it was important for me to reach out to her but could only do that if I’m sane and well. This is what convinced me to take the medicine. I want to be a great role model, not someone who is crazy. I’ll do whatever it takes to battle this illness. I’ll fight it with everything I have. It’s easy to see the beauty of surrendering to the universe. But when I did, I went crazy. Now I’m going to fight the surrender or at least stay in control of the surrender. I learned what I learned and now am letting some beliefs go. The spiritual oneness I experienced will always stay with me, but I gotta float back down from the clouds and come back to reality. Some people get so enlightened that they never make it back. My friends are helping me which is so beautiful because it lets me realize I’m not alone in this. My lifeline has pulled me back. And I want to do this because I love slave m so much that I’ll do whatever it takes so that we can live close to his daughter and he can have the things in life that he wants. I’ll do anything for him and am willing to even sell all my belongings if I have to. Belongings are stupid anyway. It’s all superficial happiness.

I’d like to share something from Rumi, which gave me hope in the hospital. Every time I’d open the pages, the words seem to be writing themselves specifically for me. He’s my all-time favorite poet (and person) and if you know the story of Rumi, then you already know how beautifully intense his work is and where it comes from. If you aren’t familiar with Rumi, I’d like to share a little bit about him. Rumi had a lover named Shams. The two of them had a love so intense that it was magical and highly spiritual. Rumi had students and a son who were insanely jealous of the love the two of them shared. The jealousy got so bad that they killed Shams in a fit of rage. Rumi was devastated beyond belief and thought he’d never recover. Then Shams began to “possess” Rumi’s body and they channeled each other, even from the grave – to write beautiful words of the deepest form of love. The poetry written turned out to be the most incredible unparalleled poetic literature ever created, in my opinion. Most of the poetry was written by Shams, using Rumi’s hand. During my schizophrenia, I channeled Shams inside me (which is the only thing that kept me alive). Shams is the silver lining that I see everywhere I look.

Here is a poem from Book IV available in Shams of Tabriz or The Soul of Rumi:
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Yes! The lover who hides in the orchard because of
the night patrol. He has no hope

of finding the beloved again. He has only descriptions,
remote as though they were

recalling the great Simurgh bird. He had one meeting,
lip-touched by honey, but when

the journey, the daily being inside the presence, began,
difficulties rose: the lover,

restless and fire-footed as a deer; the beloved growing
more and more elusive. As it

happens sometimes, though, the unlooked-for one appears again
in the orchard. She is there

with a lantern looking down in the creek for a ring she has
lost. In the delight of

her water-illumined face he feels praise coming through him
for God and the police!

“They brought me here! Set them free of policing!”
When word comes down

of new regulations, the police get very alive, but when
a king relaxes rules,

the police grow melancholy. The lover prays that
the night patrol he healed

of such rigid depravity, because in trying to avoid them he
has found his beloved. This is

how it goes in the time region. What’s foot to one fetters
another. Venom circulates

perfectly in a snake. The ocean water that nourishes fish
brings a painful death to land

animals. Anyone’s experience can multiply this common truth:
saint turns betrayer, the same act

can be both wound and shield. If you want to see the
beloved’s face, borrow

the beloved’s eyes. Look through them and you’ll see the
face everywhere. No tiredness, no boredom.

“I shall be your eye and your hand and your loving.”
Let that happen, and things

you have hated will become helpers.

—

Love
Isabella
xoxooxox

Yesterday Kasha and I spent nearly 12 or 13 hours (maybe longer with hair, makeup, and wardrobe changes) doing photoshoots for her website. Xaenith came over to watch and slave m helped out with some of the lighting and set design. Over the course of the next couple weeks, I’ll post some pictures of the finished products so you can see how magnificent she looks up close and personal.

In this particular blurry photo, you might notice my leg in the shot (I was trying to show my presence in the photo), as well as Xaenith leaning against the wall watching, as well as Kasha on the bed posing for shots. It isn’t the greatest of photos by any means and you can’t even really make out any faces… but I figured it would be cool to share a part of our 3-experience we had yesterday.

The three of us are learning how to communicate better which I love, which shows me that we can overcome anything. Anything worth having takes time. Sometimes I feel like I’m just a baby and learning how to walk and don’t know anything. Sometimes I feel like I just don’t know… anything. Maybe everything I thought I knew… I really don’t know at all. Just when I think I understand and know people, I get it all wrong.

This is why it continually amazes me that my hypnosis-listeners look up to me. They actually think I say insightful stuff… when the truth is… times like this… I don’t know a damn thing. I’m clueless. About love. About communication. About… aaahAHAHahahhahahahaha…

All I do know is… I made the decision a long time ago that I’m a Goddess, so I refuse to be a ragdoll or a pin cushion for someone else’s pleasure. There are slaves for that. If someone is going to be cold to me, I will either be hurt by it or I will opt out of the relationship. Which leads me to the main question I get wrapped around and tangled with: how many moments of hurt must a person endure before they say: enough is enough – I want out?…… *sigh* I endured one. But it was one of the biggest hurts of my life. Why did it hurt so much, you ask? Because I wanted it to hurt that much. He offered to be my drug, which I needed him to be. And when that drug was taken away from me, it felt like heroin being stripped from my spirituality. Now that I feel I’m sobered up from “the magic of the relationship” – I have an option. I could get addicted to the beautiful, addictive magical spiritual heroin he could give me, which I know good and well is NOT infinite and feel good while it lasts…. and then experience the horrible chills of the “come down” experience when I realize I need more time with him than he has time he’s willing to commit. *sigh*

So for the time being, I’ve made the decision to be without the drug. And goddammit it was one of the most memorable experiences I ever had. The way he looked at me WAS the drug. That’s ALL it was. It certainly wasn’t physical at all. I got lost in his eyes and they’d turn me into dust, literally. And he was a boy, Jesus Christ. A boy.

I’m a hopeful romantic. I can’t help but hope for magic all the time. It’s all I think about, really. And people wonder why I prefer girls. Maybe it’s best to stick with what I know best… women.

Love
Isabella
xoxoox

whose hearts associate in a way they have
of leaving their false selves
to live in a truer self.

I don’t mind if my companions
wander away for a while.

They will come back like a smiling drunk.
The thirsty ones die of their thirst.

The nightingale sometimes flies from a garden
to sing in the forest.

My absolute favorite quote by Rumi of all time:

If you love love,
look for yourself.

Love
Isabella
xoxoxox